There are in fact no CPU sliders. I discovered this myself about 2 weeks***
ago as well, and was kind of wondering when I should break the news. I wish I
had an explanation, but I don't.
There's not all that much more I can say about it... There's one other bit
of bad news that I discovered at the same time, and that is there is no custom
controller configuration any more. Again, I don't really have an explanation.
PS - In the build where I was adjusting sliders, I was adjusting User INT's
to zero - so the human wouldn't pick off the QB as much (since I know people
were originally concerned that the CPU QB threw too many picks). (ducks out of
way of flying chairs). So anyway - I don't know what else to say
So, the good news: I am not going crazy.
The bad news...well...there's no CPU sliders in Madden 09.