Bioshock Wrap-up: It's Like Charlie Brown and the Football

It's been awhile since I last posted anything about Bioshock. That's mostly because it's been awhile since I last played it. What a remarkable coincidence. For whatever reason I had stopped playing at what I thought was a point fairly close to the end of the game, planning to get back to it later, but never making the time. So, last Saturday, I sat down and figured I should finally finish it. How much more time could I need? An hour? Two?

Turns out, confronting Andrew Ryan, the game's main antagonist, isn't remotely close to being the game's end point. I was... non-plussed with this revelation. I played for about three hours Saturday night until the game managed to move the goal posts on me yet again, leaving me with yet another expansive new map to explore.



The constant Charlie Brown footballing of your goals gets to the point where its as predictable as monsters in the closets of Doom 3. No matter what target you're currently assigned to reach in Bioshock, you can all but guarantee the moment you get there you'll only find another hurdle. On Saturday, after the Ryan confrontation/non-resolution, I was set out on a quest to remove some programmed behavior that was lodged into my character's brain. The "Would you kindly" bit was a really nice plot twist, which, if it had been a shorter diversion, would've been fine. But an hour of gameplay later I had reached the object of my desire (a serum), ready to move on to targeting the game's new antagonist only to be told, in a nutshell, "Wouldn't you know it? That's not enough to remove all the programming. You need to travel clear across the map again to yet another new map to find a place that'll have more."

That was the point at which I wanted to tell the game to blow me. Side plots and distractions are a part of gaming and I've no truck with that. But there's a line. It's like the comedic rule of threes that Saturday Night Live always breaks (or at least, they did when I still watched it) that basically stipulates not to dip into the same well too often. Bioshock dips into the same bag of tricks way, WAY to frigg'n often. (And, of course, getting more serum doesn't lead to the final climax either. There are still more hurdles to jump through after that.)

Couple that with how completely and utterly sick and tired I got of having to spend 60 seconds hacking each and every camera, turret and safe in sight and the whole Bioshock experience finished on something of an unexpected down note for me (the ending excepted). I'm not so foolish as to call it a bad game. I just think the constant hacking and moving of the goalposts marred an otherwise amazing experience. (And I know you don't have to hack everything, but it's such a disadvantage not to that you can't help but feel obligated to do it.)

That said, when I finally did reach the end of the game, late Sunday afternoon, I was more than satisfied with the resolution. I know it was a canned bit, but the role the Little Sisters played in the final moments, combined with their ultimate fate in the game's closing cinematic make putting up with the game's few flaws well worth the time and effort. What I don't know is if there's an alternate ending for players who don't save the Little Sisters. You'd think there would have to be, but I'll have to check out GameFAQs for that, I suppose.

I was also gratified to find that the character of Atlas turned out to be exactly who I thought he was. Given how much of the game follows the System Shock 2 formula, I had him pegged early on as not being what he portended to be. I was just thrown off by the fact that he wasn't revealed until after the confrontation with Ryan. (In SS2, your "ally" is revealed much, much sooner.) I spent the whole game assuming that Ryan was this game's SHODAN. Turns out, he's XERXES. Who knew?

The only down note to the game's ending is that there's no resoluiton given to the woman who acts as the Little Sisters' caretaker, Dr. Tenenbaum (not sure if I've got her name right or not). She ends up being a very integral figure in the game, yet what happens to her is a mystery. (Perhaps that's something set aside for the sequel?)

Ultimately, I think Bioshock falls a bit short of the incredible hype that surrounds it. The world of Rapture is absolutely unparalled in its scope and attention to detail. And the storyline is marvelous. Unfortunately, the aforementioned problems really are like a boat anchor that drag down the overall experience. Really, if they had just eliminated the hacking or had they provided skills that allowed you to just skip it (rather than just make it easier) I probably would've been much more satisfied. I absolutely grew to HATE the hacking. It was that annoying and intrusive. As it stands, Bioshock is a game I'm glad to have played, but while I'll certainly be looking forward to a sequel, I just don't think I'll be replaying this one again anytime soon.