Monday, February 2, 2009

Michael Phelps Goes to White Castle

I only first heard about the whole Michael Phelps/Bong thing this morning when I read a blurb from a Detroit Free Press writer how Phelps was letting down all the children. Awww. There's nothing like a good concern-troll, is there?

Anyway, that's not why I'm posting about it. Rather, this great, great column at -written in the form of a Phelps anti-apology- is. I'm not exactly Reason's core demographic (being a shamed liberal with a hint of libertarian sensibility), but every now and then they knock one out of the park:

Dear America,

I take it back. I don’t apologize.

Because you know what? It’s none of your goddamned business. I work my ass off 10 months a year. It’s that hard work that gave you all those gooey feelings of patriotism last summer. If during my brief window of down time I want to relax, enjoy myself, and partake of a substance that’s a hell of a lot less bad for me than alcohol, tobacco, or, frankly, most of the prescription drugs most of you are taking, well, you can spare me the lecture.


You’ll have to pardon my cynicism. But I call bullshit. You don’t give a damn about my health. You just get a voyeuristic thrill from watching an elite athlete fall from grace–all the better if you get to exercise a little moral righteousness in the process. And it’s hypocritical righteousness at that, given that 40 percent of you have tried pot at least once in your lives.

There's more if you follow the link.

Disclaimer: For what it's worth, I've never rocked the ganj. Well, unless you count secondary inhalation because the guys in the adjoining dorm room when I was a freshman at Western Michigan blazed up on a daily basis...

I miss those guys. They were fun....


Either way, doesn't mean I give a flying fig what Phelps does with his free time.