Thursday, April 23, 2009

Somebody Buy This Guy a Beer Tonight

Here’s a story in the Columbus Dispatch about a Wings fan who managed to lob an octopus onto the Columbus ice on Tuesday night. It’s a good story that includes Gary Bettman sounding like an ass and you just can’t put a price on that.

Goloborodko said he was detained by arena security, threatened by angry Jackets fans and enjoyed a chance encounter with NHL commissioner Gary Bettman before being escorted from the building.

"As I was being held downstairs, Gary Bettman and his security guys walked by," Goloborodko said. "Like any good hockey fan, I recognized my commissioner and yelled out, 'Hey, Commissioner.'

"I heard Bettman say, 'I'm not happy about this one bit.' I don't know if he was responding to me or talking about something else."

If I can be a walking sports fan cliché for just one minute: Hey, Gary! You suck!

Ah. I feel better now.


I know most people don’t get the whole octopus tradition with the Red Wings and I’m quite sure even those who get it, hate it and think all Wings fans that embrace it are obnoxious. …oh well. That’s life, people. It ain’t going away anytime soon, no matter what Bettman (Ass) does to legislate against it. Besides, it makes those of us that do like it feel all warm and fuzzy inside when the slimy beast ends up splattered on another team’s home ice during a crucial playoff game.

Go Wings!

PS – Mr. Bettman, if you could kindly strike some kind of TV deal that doesn’t mean fans miss out on half their teams’ first round playoff games that’d be just super. I pay DirecTV $100 a month as it is, so no, I’m not ponying up extra to them or your stupid online site just so I can see the first round. Nobody should have to pay extra to watch their team in the playoffs.

PPS – DirecTV, I’d pay for your stupid sports packages if you’d let me pay less than the obnoxious amount of money you demand so that I could see just my own damned team’s games. Like I care about getting Thrashers or Ducks games? Besides, last year I sent you bastards $200 to watch the Lions win a total of zero games. How the hell have you not offered me a refund after that? It would be the best PR move in the history of the world… if you’re me.

PPPS – The cake is a lie.