Here's my message to the University of West Virginia, and it's the same message a girl I liked in college once gave me. Come to think of it, it wasn't so much a message as it was good advice (which I took).
Get a life already.
Paper shredding allegations? In a world where every scrap of information about anything is stored electronically and backed up to multiple, secure sources? Combing through cell phone records? Seriously, does anyone not think that West Virginia isn't acting like a jilted ex at this point?
Rodriguez left you. Go through your five stages of grief and call it a day already. Sure Rodriguez dumping your ass is kinda mean and it hurts and you're not sure you'll find anyone else quite like him, but he had another opportunity with someone better looking and more to offer and he told you to lose his number. Move on. He was all wrong for you anyway, girlfriends. If nothing else, then hit the local bar, get sloshed and find someone open to a good grudge f#@$. You'll feel better.