Thursday, January 15, 2009

True Wisdom for Lions Fans

EDIT: This post was written and posted before news came out of Detroit that the Lions have indeed hired Jim Schwartz as their next coach. Is this good news? As the monk said to the student, "We'll see."

For the last few weeks, as I'm sure will be a shock to exactly none of you, I've been endeavoring to keep tabs on the Lions coaching search. The buzz seems to be centered around Tennessee Titans DC Jim Schwartz and Miami Dolphins assistant Todd Bowles, both of whom had second interviews this week and were trotted out for test run press conferences. It's hard not to like Schwartz based not so much on the fact that he's worked so long and successfully for Jeff Fisher in Tennessee, but on the fact that he answered a question about the Lions quarterback job with, "I think it's time we replaced Bobby Layne."

Sir, you had me at hello.

That being said, my best answer to the question of who should be the Lions' next coach is: I have no fucking idea and why the hell are you asking me?

Seriously, speculation on coaching searches and draft picks is always good fun and all fans will have an opinion on such things, but the dead-set certainty with which some people evangelize their opinions on online message boards just kills me. I know, I know. I should no better than to read the insane postings of anonymous schlubs on online newspaper pages like MLive, but there are times when I just can't help myself and I always, always feel dumber for having done so. (Disclaimer: I'm not saying there isn't wisdom to be found in such places. It's just the process of wading through the detritus leaves me feeling like termites are gnawing their way through my skull.)

CJMegatron: i think Jim Schwartz will be a good head coach, just not for the lions. He dont Blitz he rushes just 4 guys all the time. Alot of teams that is a good thing he can rush 4 guys and get pressure but he dont have the talent here in Detroit to just rush the D-line. I would like to see the 3-4 system here in Detroit. With the 3-4 our 1st pick would be a lock also. I'am suprised no one has talked about Aaron Curry as out first pick.

I know making fun of spelling is trite and cliche, and hey, I'm the last guy to criticize someone over typos (you read this blog, so you know that), but seriously, I'am?

windsorlions: Rex Ryan is the coach we need his defenses are always in the top 5 ,he has head coach experience and his defences just ravaged the titans last week!he seems to be low key no one talks about him much as HC,but he has the creds just look at his past.Todd Bowles is a secondary coach with no head coaching experience.Jim Schwartz is also getting a lot of press but his defences were schooled by the ravens,they didnt do anything even blitz.But Rex Ryan's ravens were mixing it up and flying all over.Since they are still in the playoffs we should at least wait to talk to one the best candidates availible don't you think?

I love this. The Ravens beat the Titans so therefor Rex Ryan is a better candidate than Schwartz. Maybe this guy didn't see the Bobby Layne quote. Here's a New Rule -if I can be permitted to channel my inner Bill Maher for a minute- if you are a fan trolling on a newspaper's message board you are not qualified to make declarative statements about who should be the head coach of a professional football team.

stopitnomore: Coach Todd???????? Just doesn't have a good ring to it.

Yeah, well if I knew your name I'd make fun of it to your face. So there!

It's times like this when I'm reminded of the wisdom brought to us all by two young men who are far wiser than any of us. I speak, of course, of Bill & Ted and their most Excellent Adventure.

Bill: So-crates, the only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing.

Ted: That's us, dude!

You said it, guys.

And now, for your enjoyment, the whole scene brought to you in full color through the magic of YouTube:

3 comments:

Mike in the D said...

And just like that, its Schwartz.

todd brakke said...

Hey, thanks for catching that Mike. News of the hire hadn't shown up on any of my Lions RSS subscriptions.

Let me be, at best, the 10,000th person to say this... May the Schwartz be with us.

I hate myself.

Jonah Falcon said...

Rats. You beat me to the "May the Schwartz be with you" joke.