Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I’m Getting Really Sick of the NHL’s… (NSFW)

Alright, I said I was on a break, but when shit like this happens, something must be said. Even if it has no force or effect whatsoever.

It should go without saying this post is not work safe.

Here’s the thing. I can handle things. I make my jokes. Tell my long-winded stories. Support indefensible positions, like throwing octopi on the ice during stoppages of playoff games. But at the end of the day I consider myself a reasonable guy. The Lions went 0-16 last season for god’s sake. Did I pop a cork? No. I sighed, drank a lot, kissed my $200 to DirecTV goodbye and moved on. (Though, I still hate you, DirecTV, for not offering me refund. Man up, chuckleheads.)

This, though… can someone please explain to me why I should ever watch another NHL game again after watching this?

If you didn’t watch the video, what you didn’t see was a game tying Red Wings goal being waved off in the final minute because the ref intended to blow his whistle before the puck crossed the goal line. Again, I say INTENDED to blow his whistle. You watch the video. The whistle sounds after the puck crossed the line. Nevermind the fact that the jackass never should’ve blown his whistle in the first place. Oh, and why is there no replay rule for this? I’ll tell you why. Because it’s the NHL.

To be fair –but only for a second- here’s the NHL position on this bullshit:

“First off, as any of us watch on a replay, it’s easy to make the correct call. In the case tonight, the official was down along the goal line. He was moving forward toward the net to try to get a look at where the puck was. When he couldn’t see the puck, all referees’ instructions are to blow the whistle and blow the play dead. A combination of the black puck and the black pants may have been a factor. But when he didn’t see the puck, he blew the whistle.”

Um. No. Well, I mean yes, if the puck is buried under the goalie (hence you can’t see it) you are supposed to blow the whistle. I get that. I do. But the fucking puck WASN’T under the fucking goalie. You can’t claim black puck, black pants when the puck was on the ice next to the goalie. It was right there in the motherfucking crease you horde of mindless Bettman automatons! Use your fucking eyes!

I swear to god, the NHL can just go suck it. I’m tired of this. I’ve put up with years of watching lost playoff games in which the team for which I root has hopelessly outclassed its competition only to lose in OT (or double OT, or triple OT) to a hot goalie and some bad bounces. It’s sports. It’s hockey. It happens. I’ve put up with the Wings being saddled in the Western Conference and continually having west coast playoff games starting at 10:30 at night and ending slightly before dawn. But I will be goddamned if I’m going to fucking kill myself staying up to the wee hours of the morning to watch games like this, see a huge call get blown about as badly as a call can be blown and then have the league say anything other than:

“We sincerely apologize. We blew the call.”

I mean just say that for the love of Christ. Bad calls, as horribly inane as they may be, happen in sports. It’s the cost of doing business and, given time, reasonable fans can let that sort of thing go. But do not defend the indefensible. Mr. Bettman, your official fucked up. You, your chief of officiating, and the official in question should each stand in front of a camera and say exactly that, apologize and then we can move on. Any other response deserves a firm, "(blankety, blankety, blank)." Period. End of story. End of debate.

NHL? You are not only on my On Notice list, you’re going straight to the f’ing top of it. Congrats! (Yes, I have edited a couple of curses out of the last two paragraphs. Even for me that was overdoing it a bit.) 

Was that too much?

Doesn’t matter. I feel soooooo much better now.