My Scott & Jean: Wasted Story Potential (Part 1)

So there’s this new meme making the rounds on the comic blogs asking the question: What is your Scott & Jean? In the words of one of the drivers of this phenomenon, “What is the one thing that you are so passionate about that you just cannot discuss it rationally?”

You –possibly being 12% less geeky than I and not a reader of comics- may not know what the Scott & Jean bit means. If you have to know, it refers to the X-Men characters Scott Summers and Jean Grey and their “meant to be” relationship. For like 30 years they were the mutant couple. And then they were broken up (by Grant Morrison, I think) and then Jean was killed (yet again) and Summers was matched up with The White Queen, Emma Frost. Many, many people hated this tampering with one of the few relationships in the Marvel universe that was supposed to be of the fairytale “it’s meant to be” variety. (Shut up. Some of us are romantics! Though, in this case, I could give a damn.) Thus is born the Scott & Jean (TM?), the thing that should not ever be messed with or otherwise jacked up and if it should happen then the purveyors of said tragedy will suffer your wrath on various Internet forums and blogs. (Okay, I think I low-balled that 12% figure above. If you didn’t know this story you’re possibly 35% less geeky than I. Congrats to you!)

So, the question –as being collated at AlertNerd- is what is your Scott & Jean. I had to think long and hard about this. (Cue obligatory and lame “long and hard” joke.) One of the best answers by far is here at Faust’s Fantastically Phantasmagoric Forum (best title evah). I love this bit:

Christopher Nolan will have us believe that Batman is just some thug in a cape who beats that snot out of gangsters and needs Morgan Freeman’s help to come up with an antidote for Scarecrow’s fear gas.  Um, no.  Sorry, Mr. Nolan, but you are wrong.  Batman does not need anyone’s help coming up with an antidote.  He can come up with an antidote in his sleep, while he does the crossword puzzle and designs a new Batmobile.  Why?  Because Batman is a freakin’ genius!  That’s it.  End of story.  And do you know what else Batman can do?  He can break into a skyscraper all by his lonesome, as well, thank you very much.  I don’t care if it’s in Hong Kong.  I don’t care if it’s on the Moon.  He’ll get there, he’ll break in, and he’ll do it without your help.

I love that.

As much as I didn’t agree with the premise, I loved Kristina Wright’s answer at Geeked. (Giving Spike a soul for Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s 7th and final season.)

4th Letter definitely hit the nail on the head with theirs. The only thing I hate more than stories with stagnant character (Seinfeld excepted) is when writers (or whomever) take characters that have evolved and revert them back to a previous status quo because they can’t deal with change. (This happens a lot in comics. God, don’t even get me started with what Marvel did with Spider-Man.) So, with that topic taken, I came up with another: Squandered Story Potential. 

Life is full of squandered potential. When I die, my tombstone will read “Here' lies Todd. Potential squandered.” Maybe that’s why it irks me so much when I see it. Either way, I’m a huge giant geek for good stories and when I see potentially wonderful stories fall short of the mark –even if the result isn’t specifically bad- I hate it. Hate. It. I won’t let go of it. Ever.

So, as this is already long and, like Pontiac, I build excitement, I’ll cut this short here. Tomorrow I will post my top five Scott & Jean Storylines of Potential Wasted. Be there!

Undead and Dark Elves and Deathrollers -- Oh My!

"Focus Home Interactive has also confirmed that additional teams--including undead and dark elf--will be made available after the game ships on the PC, Xbox 360, and, possibly, the PSP."

PC Blood Bowl just got even cooler.

The lack of a Dark Elf squad in particular was just evil.

Plus check out these new pics and the image of the DEATHROLLER! This was supposed to not make it in but hey...that looks like it's in to me. (Thanks David)

Seriously, this game looks better and better.

Just ‘cuz

Not sure why I feel compelled to post this today, but I do.

This is Wild

Saw this over at the Daily Dish tonight.

"Scientists for the first time have captured the transfer of HIV from infected cells to healthy ones."

I freely admit this video sort of freaked me out.

Cookie Monster

Can anyone explain how/why both IE and Firefox are not retaining my cookies? This happened all of a sudden and now every time I log into any site that requires said login I have to retype everything. I haven't changed any settings and it's getting a tad irritating.

Thoughts? Perferred Voodoo Ritual? Anything?

Funerals

When you marry into a Catholic family, especially one where all of the relatives live in a radius of 25 miles, you are assured to do two things -- and do them often: go to weddings and funerals.

I have been married for --- wow it will be 11 years this April. In that time I have been to countless weddings and funerals -- mostly for people whom I have either never met or have met maybe once or twice via the big family gatherings that seem to happen every few months. These people love to get together...and eat, basically.

I don't come from a large family so this was all very new to me. I'm also extremely not Catholic.

So when I go to these we usually sit in the back -- unless the person is of great importance, like when Mary's father died we were right in the front. It's somewhat uncomfortable, mainly because Catholicism involves a whole lot of rituals: standing, sitting, singing, praying, shaking hands with other people, repeating what the priest says, and pretty much everyone in the church takes part -- but me.

I asked a long time ago, "hey should I be doing this stuff?"

I was told to stand when asked, sit when asked but other than that -- don't worry about it.

So that's what I do. I stand, I sit, I make eye contact with infants and make them smile because they have about as much knowledge as to what's going on as I do.

My mind also tends to wander. This is mostly the case when I don't know the person getting married or the person being buried.

Like today.

Whenever I sit in that nice country church in Danville, OH my mind starts to wander toward religion. The hows and the whys flood my mind -- this usually is a funeral thing. Today was different, though.

"How many people will come to my funeral? This place is packed. Is it because it's all family/friends or is it a church thing?"

So I started counting -- OK who would show up? Not counting my immediate family -- which is a shade on the small side, who shows up to bid farewell to me? When I reached my number I told Mary.

"How do you know that?" She replied.

"Well it's a pretty fair estimate."

"OK who is on that list?"

I tell her.

"You're forgetting a lot of people."

"Well, if I am forgetting them now there is a very good chance that they'll forget me then."

"Ok. Do you care?"

"Right now? Hell yes I care. Will I care then? Unlikely."

So this is how I spent my Monday.

I'm hoping next time it's a wedding so I can predict to Mary how long it will last before papers are filed based on how nervous/anxious/bored the groom looks.

I'm fun at parties. And really not a bad wedding date.

Game Developers Can’t Write

Yes, I know. That headline is simultaneously entirely unfair and entirely untrue. But still, what other conclusion can you draw from this:

Fallout 3 took top honors at the Game Developers Choice Awards last night. It was selected for game of the year and best writing. (emphasis mine)

Game Developers gave Fallout 3 best writing. Not fans. Not the Obama Administration. Other game developers. I am, as usual, beside myself. Hey, my picture’s not in the dictionary under “writing” either. There’s a reason I’m an editor of books. Not even fiction books, or cool nature books, or stuff read at the upper echelons of university study, but f’ing books on Windows and iLife. So when I criticize, I do so with full knowledge of the fact that –as a writer… and most other things- I am nothing. That does not mean, however, that the writing in Fallout 3 was not, largely, ass.

Look, Fallout 3 has a lot of merit. I can buy developers awarding it game of the year. I didn’t think that highly of it, but different strokes and all that. The game did a lot of things very, very well. But the writing? If there was one single thing that held this game back from being truly great, it was the writing. And you know, maybe that’s not all lead writer Emil Pagliarulo’s fault. Maybe it’s Todd Howard’s or some other dude who remains nameless.

So, Emil, if you’re somehow reading this I apologize if it offends or hurts feelings.  To be fair, there were times you did your job in Fallout 3 exceedingly well. But seriously. Your game had a radiation immune mutant unwilling to enter a radiated room because it wasn’t his destiny. You had the bizarre sequence in Vault 101 in which the overseer goes absolutely bonkers and everybody goes along with it, evidently, just cuz. You had the clumsy ass schism in the Enclave in which they end up fighting each other and no matter whose side you’re on, Eden still likes you and that colonel guy still hates you. And what the hell was with the colonel guy, anyway? Did I have to kill him twice with no explanation or was that just a trick of the pixels? Oh yeah, and the completely f$#%tard way in which the player convinces Eden to remove himself from the equation. Me: “Hey, I think you’re wrong and you should go away.” Eden: “Okey-dokey.”

Seriously? That earns you a best writing award from your fellow developers?

You have to love his quote about winning, though:

I was a nerd growing up in South Boston. To all the nerds growing up in South Boston, don't play hockey. Don't join Little League. Stay in your room, read your Lloyd Alexander and play 'Dungeons and Dragons.' It all works out in the end.

A Lloyd Alexander reference in that context makes up for a lot of Fallout 3 pitfalls. That’s just money. And hey, you do have an award and I don’t so you’re clearly a lot smarter and better at this than I am. That or you just know people. I don’t know anybody. Well, I know Bill. And thus this blog’s entire readership and my freelance gig at Gameshark.

I know the wrong people.

Regardless, kudos to you, sir! An award that’s well deserv… well, you won it, anyway. So, here’s to you! If we ever should meet face-to-face and you don’t slug me in the nose first, I will buy you many beers and toast your success! (Sincerely.)

Michele Bachmann Proves Anyone Can Go to Congress

Ok we keep politics here at a minimum. During elections it's hard not to talk about it but most of the time politicians do their thing and we rarely talk about it here. There are other places where you can read about that. But sometimes people -- important people -- say things that make me do a double take and ask, "Wait...what did they just say?"

If you have ever watched The Colbert Report's Better Know a District segment-- it should scare the hell out of you that some of these people (Dems and Repubs both) are actually being elected to office. Is it by default?

Exhibit A is Michele Bachmann. You remember her, right? She's the lunatic that went on Hardball and spoke of some nebulous conspiracy within Congress about Anti American officials and said the media should do some bizarre expose on the topic. Bachmann is McCarthy without the intelligence and tact.

How people like Bachmann, Harry Reid and other complete tools get elected I will never, ever know.

Anyway, the reason for this little post today is that Bachmann has yet again displayed her complete and total ignorance by appearing on the Glenn Beck show and talking economics. First off, you expect Beck to be an idiot -- because he is. Facts is fact, ya know? Beck has yet to meet a topic he doesn't blather on about, regardless if he knows anything about the subject or not. It makes him an ideal pundit. Wrap yourself around the flag, talk loud, even cry if you need to, say things with such conviction that the people who listen to you religiously accept your nonsense as fact. Collect a nice check and do the same the same the next week.

But see --- you expect this from Beck. He's Glenn freaking Beck. He's mostly harmless.

Bachmann is an elected official -- and her complete ignorance on the global economy is absolutely stunning.

The money quote here is this, "Keep in mind that these aren’t just two weirdos hiding out in a cabin somewhere. Beck has a show on a major cable news network and Bachmann has a seat in congress."

Sigh. OK sorry about that. I just had to type that out to get that off my chest. It's cathartic. I feel better now. We can go back to talking about how Elven Legacy keeps crashing...

Monsters Vs. Aliens!

Sucks.

More Elven Legacy

OK this game is starting to annoy me -- not the gameplay, which is very tight and terribly addicting but the missions are SADISTICALLY hard. I had to go to Easy and I have been playing games like this for a long, long time. Just wave after wave of bad guys.

And it crashes -- a lot.

As in, I can't play for more than 60-90 mins without getting some sort of "stack delay" CTD error or something like that.

edit: it just crashed again:

Call Stack Functions:" and then lists some letters and numbers and the path to the exe file.
Anyone have a clue what that means?

Blood Bowl ...

PC version still a go for June.

Xbox 360 pushed to September.

Matters not to me, but that's a really weird delay.

The Best Paragraph I’ve Read All Week

Yes, I know, I haven’t been blogging much. Life (watching TV), living (eating snack foods) and work (genuinely busy there) have been getting in the way. I’d promise to make up for it, but I think we all know that’s not true, so let’s move on to the subject of this post.

This week I’ve read a couple hundred pages of a “Geek’s Guide” to Google Chrome. Just about the entirety of Easy iLife ‘09. Y: The Last Man Book 4. Countless articles from blogs and other news sites via Google Reader. Even a chapter of Perdido Street Station, an astonishingly well written book that I am somehow unable to read consistently enough to actually finish (going on about three months now). And yet the best paragraph I’ve read this week comes from Chris’s Invincible Super-Blog (which is dedicated to comic books). Chris writes the following sarcastic praise for the comic Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose #55 (a comic I have never heard of) and the fact that it recently won multiple Project Fanboy awards:

Or if not the plot, then certainly the dialogue. Here’s a sample: ‘”I can sense the wisdom and grace from a mother witch as she caresses her secret lover disguised as a cat.” For the grammarians among you, it’s the secret lover that’s disguised as a cat, not the mother witch, although really, at this point does it matter? I think not, as Tarot has been recognized by you, the Internet users, as THE CURRENT PINNACLE OF THE COMIC BOOK ART FORM. SERIOUSLY. THERE WAS A VOTE. AND IT WON.

The awards it won: Best Title and Best Indy Title. Chris Laments that it somehow missed out on the Most Haunted Vagina award, which should tell you all you need to know. I thought about posting a picture from Chris’s blog of said comic’s cover to illustrate just how ludicrous and shameful this notion is, but it’s just too embarrassing (to fans of comics) for me to insert it here. You’ll have to follow the link.

Bucks Lose Another; Keep Best Player

The Bizarro World that is college basketball continued today as OSU's best player and all Big 10 First Team standout SF Evan Turner said he was coming back for his Jr season at OSU. If ANYONE on this team is ready to take the next step -- it's Turner. Dude can flat out BALL.

BJ Mullens, the 7 Footer who played like the shockingly raw freshman he is -- announced he was leaving for the league, destined to sit on the bench as the 8th, 9th, or 10th man or go to the D League until he learns just what the hell he's doing.

I hear that the Mullens family needs the $$ like a fish needs water so you can't blame the kid. I sure don't.

But as a selfish fan?

Damn BJ...you're the 3rd center in three years!

Elven Legacy

So I get this email from Paradox saying "Elven Legacy review code is in your Gamers Gate account!"

Oh, joy.

So I do some reading and this is a game that is a sequel to "Fantasy Wars" -- a game I knew by name but never played. And it's by 1C. I know 1C from my many E3 trips -- the Russian dudes who always supply me with Vodka. (Seriously.) But 1C's game are totally hit/miss. You might get Necrovision or You Are Empty -- or you might get King's Bounty, Men of War, or Space Rangers 2.

You just never know with these guys. I know you can say the same about many publishers but 1C is different. Just trust me on this.

Plus -- the titles. Jesus. "Men of War, "Fantasy Wars", "Theater of War", "Dawn of Magic", "Totally Friggin Generic Game X"

Who is coming up with these names?

But then 1C does something surprising -- they publish a game that is really, REALLY worth your time. They come out of nowhere with these EPIC games. Like King's Bounty. Like Men of War. Like Space Rangers and (potentially) like Elven Legacy.

I'm only on the 3rd campaign mission so I have no idea how the game will hold up, but I do know this much:

This game plays like a 3D/rotating camera version of Fantasy General. If you don't know Fantasy General...wait...really? You don't know Fantasy General? You make me sad. Unless you weren't gaming when DOS was king and EMM386 ruled with an iron fist.

Elven Legacy plays out on a grid, is turn based, has a branching campaign (so far, at least -- I was able to choose my campaign path after the first mission), grants perks (side missions) if you complete a mission within a certain number of turns, and allows you to carry your units from mission to mission, upgrade them, and if they die you lose highly experienced troops that need to be replaced with green reserves. It's the Panzer General design in full effect.

In short, this is my kind of game.

But it's also a 1C game and with that comes reservations-- it autosaves but it crashes a lot. It has an utterly strange story that assumes you know all of these characters and their history, and is laughably translated with voice acting right out of The School on How Not to Voice Act. But once you get past that -- the gameplay itself is brilliant. It's old school. And the hooks are in -- pretty deep.

I just hope it holds up.

If I ever go to Austin, TX

I am going here.

Buckeye Basketball Blahs

I was under the knife the same day the Bucks lost a genuine thriller to Siena Friday night. As I said weeks ago -- OSU was a 1 win max team this year and they proved me wrong. They didn't get out of the 1st round. Not a big deal, really. Even with a win over Siena Louisville would have likely crushed OSU.

I have to admit, I'm sorta down on college basketball.

I blame Greg Oden.

OK that's not fair (or accurate).

OSU has always been a top tier big 10 basketball program but not an elite nationwide program. Unlike football, where OSU is in the argument with the top 5 programs in the country, in basketball, OSU isn't in the discussion.

That was until Matta signed the ridiculous class with Oden, Conley, Cook, Lighty, and Hunter.

That class is as gaudy as it gets.

So that class comes in and joins a team with college standouts Ron Lewis and Jamar Butler and 3 point specialist Ivan Harris, gets to the title game and loses to a great Florida team. A really great season full of improbable finishes (Xavier, Tenn., etc.)

The problem? It was over.

Oden, Conley, and Cook all left after the Freshman season, Lewis and Harris graduated, and Lighty, Hunter and Butler were all that was left. (Sorry Twigs)

The next year? Matta signs the #1 center prospect, again, in Kosta Koufos. Koufos is the Euro-style big man -- he would rather shoot a 3 than post up on the block. Still, he wins MVP of the NIT, stays one year, and goes in Round 1 of the draft.

That's 4 1st round picks in 2 years -- all freshman.

This year? OSU gets back in the tourney, has a strong season and we have, again, the #1 Center recruit in BJ Mullens. Mullens is NOWHERE NEAR as developed as Oden or Koufos but word is -- he's gone.

He will be drafted in round 1 on pure potential: 7 footer who is athletic. It matters not that Mullens would vanish for long stretches and his best game, stats wise, was vs. North Carolina-Asheville where he dropped 19 points and 9 boards.

Mullens might be great, but he is comically raw and has no basketball IQ -- he only started playing in the 8th grade and it shows. So instead of watching him develop at OSU, he'll get drafted, sit the bench or go to the D League. So, if you are keeping score, that is 3 years in a row where OSU loses its FRESHMAN center to the 1st round of the draft. Has that ever happened in the history of mankind? Oh, and in 2011 we have another top rated center in Jared Sullinger...

Understand, I don't blame these guys at all for leaving -- turning down 1st round NBA money...hell I couldn't do that. But as a FAN, it makes it incredibly hard to give a shit.

In football you know you get to watch these guys for at least 3 years. You are allowed to get attached...to care. In basketball? Hell just think about it.

Think about whatever team you root for. Now imagine losing 5 freshman in 3 years. All blue chippers. All pivotal parts of the program. All gone. I know kids leave every year and teams lose players every year but 5 in 3 is just brutal, especially when they stayed on campus for just one season.

Think about this:

Ohio State could have, in theory, this season started Oden at Center, Koufos at PF, Conley at PG, Evan Turner at SF, and Cook at SG. Mullens, Lighty, Buford (Big 10 Fr of the year) and Dielber coming off the bench.

And NONE of those players would be seniors. ZERO.

It all comes down to this shot.



If Lewis misses this, maybe Conley stays (he said as much) and Oden said he was truly 50/50 about leaving, and losing Conley played a huge role. You are free to believe that or not. ;)

The Power of Sound Editing

I was catching up on my blogroll this morning when I ran across this post at the excellent Twenty Sided (by Shamus Young). It’s a mashup trailer that features video footage from Wall-E merged with audio from the Watchmen trailer. It’s just a brilliant example of how altering the audio for something can completely change the viewer’s perception of the visuals. I love Wall-E to death. I do. But now I can’t help but want to see this version of the movie. 

On the Shelf

I had 'minor' out patient surgery Friday night and I'm still sore today so I'll be AWOL today.

Hopefully Todd has something witty to say to help entertain.

Back to the couch...

How immobile have I been this weekend?

Start watching Season 3 of Battlestar Galactica at 6 PM ET Friday

Sunday night 10 PM -- finish Season 4.

THAT is a LOT OF ******* BSG.

Hail! Hail!

Not much to say about the game other than to post CBS’s highlight reel:

Watch CBS Videos Online

The story last night was Manny Harris (well, him and the team defense). When Michigan was playing poorly in the first give minutes, he kept them afloat. When the well went dry in the last five minute, he kept them afloat.

That was fun to watch… that is, when CBS wasn’t busy cutting away to feature some silly 14 seed leading against a 3 seed. Like that’s compelling TV? Puh-leeze.

He Did NOT Say That...

Technically, it's not the best role-playing game on the market but it is loaded with so much personality that its problems melt away underneath a blanket of just plain fun.

Who wrote that?

I did.

In a review from 2003.

I am really, really bad at this.